A mother’s advice to her daughter before her marriage

When ‘Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybaani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during theJaahiliyyah, (pre-Islamic era) married his daughter Umm Iyaas to al-Haarith ibn ‘Amr al-Kindi, she was made ready to be taken to the groom, then her mother, Umaamah came in to her, and advised her daughter saying,

·         My dear daughter, you are leaving the home in which you have been brought up and were raised, to a home which you do not know, and with a new companion who you are not accustomed to. By marrying you, he has become your guardian and superior. Therefore, be a slave to him and he will be a slave to you.  

My dear daughter, maintain these ten traits and he will always support you.

·         *  As for the first and second trait: Be content in your life with him and be an obedient companion.

·         *  The third and fourth: Continuously be attentive to what his eyes fall on and to what his nose might smell. Do not let him behold you unattractive, and let him only smell pleasant scents from you.

·         *  The fifth and the sixth: Be attentive to the time of his meals, and be quiet during his sleep; for hunger is agitating, and disturbing one’s sleep arouses anger.

·         *  The seventh and eighth: Preserve his money, and look after his household and children, for guarding his money is a good characteristic, and looking after his household and children is a way of honoring him.

·         *  As for the ninth and tenth traits: Never expose his secrets or disobey his orders, for if you expose his secrets you will not be safe from his betrayal, and if you disobey his orders you will make him angry.

·        *   In addition, avoid expressing happiness while he is sad, or being gloomy while he is happy, for the first quality is an act of negligence, and the second displeases him.

·         *  Honor him the best you can, and he will honor you the best he can.

·         *  The more you agree with him, the longer he will stay in your company.

·         Know, that you will not attain what you aspire for unless you favor his contentment over yours, and his desires over yours whether concerning something that pleases or displeases you.

1 comment:

  1. Allahu akbar. Best women who know why they are created. May Allah reward them.